I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
