I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
