I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
