i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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