You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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