I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
