just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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