dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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