Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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