you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
