im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
