I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
