STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
