So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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