I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
