i don't like sucking hair
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
handjob tips. give me some.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
