We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
