i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
