Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
