Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
