idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
