Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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