I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
