Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
