I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
