Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Randomize
