Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
