like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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