I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
