But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
