I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
