i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
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