I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
