But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
