you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
