hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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