If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
