Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
