I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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