But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
