butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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