Porn is love you can see.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
