Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
