Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
