all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
