Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
