I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
