Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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