Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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