I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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