walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
