Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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