if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
