So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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