it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
