you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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