He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I booty called her while she was in labor.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
